we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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