im drinking this country out of the recession.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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