thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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