you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
