I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
