Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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