I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to make out with him forever
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
