I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize