U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
