i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
