I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
