i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
