i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
