Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I smell stomach acid.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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