Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think a kid would responsible me up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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