Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
