I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
