what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
