Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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