He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
