mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i came on her dog
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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