Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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