i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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