You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
