I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
