thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
