I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it's like iHOP with fire
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
