At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
