you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to make out with him forever
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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