I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
