my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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