her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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