using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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