My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
