ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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