I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
