You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize