Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
