i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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