I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
