Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
