Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
