I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
