Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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