At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
