Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
