That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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