omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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