I puked a lego.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
