It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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