Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
