drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
