he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
