You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
