I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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