he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
