That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
