Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
