"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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