I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
