Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
