I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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