Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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