she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
