you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
