Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
