is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
