Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
