Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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